Dreams should be big. They should be scary.
I’m not talking about nightmares. I’m not talking about worries. Dreams so big that they terrify you. Why? Because they might happen. You could be successful.
For many years now, I have found myself so busy with life that I stopped dreaming. I didn’t have time to think big. There were no dreams to work toward. One day I realized that I needed to make a change. My anxiety was getting the best of me and I began to isolate myself. I decided to try something out of my comfort zone. I joined LuLaRoe. As a retailer I would have to meet new people and learn to engage again.
Trying something new
Joining LuLaRoe not only helped me with my social anxiety, I also began learning about social media and marketing. This was a whole new world to me. One thing led to another and next thing I knew, I added blogger to my list of accomplishments. My life was now very full of varying interests: my full time job as a child care center owner, LuLaRoe, Perfectly Posh, Blogging and all the training to go with it. I was learning and growing so much with my new found interests.
At the beginning of 2019 I decided I was going to do more things outside of my comfort zone. The first big thing was to sign up for a blogger’s retreat. As a new blogger, I felt it was important to be all in.
I was terrified.
April rolled around and it was time for me to drive to Melbourne, FL to meet all the other bloggers I had gotten to know.
You are Extraordinary.
During the sessions we heard from other bloggers about what they had learned during their own journey. The first speaker was Mandy Burnette. She put words to all the thoughts that had floated in my head for so long. She talked about losing yourself. I wanted to cry. Her words made it all real and I had to face it. I had lost who I was. All these years I had been whatever everyone needed me to be. I needed to, well, be needed.
Then, she asked everyone to write down their biggest, scariest dream on a piece of paper. I froze.
I didn’t have dreams.
There wasn’t even anything to make up. So, in order to not look completely foolish, I had to write something on this piece of paper.
I don’t have one.
I wrote it small in the corner and folded my paper over. Then Mandy did something horrible.
She collected them.
There was no hiding it. It got worse.
She handed them back out to other people. That’s right. Somewhere in that room sat another blogger with my lack of dreams written down. One by one, Mandy had us read out loud the dream written in front of us.
When those four words were read aloud, I could hear the sadness in them. The emptiness and loss of self. Mandy was so graceful and simply stated, “It’s ok. there is time to still dream.”
This moment stuck with me.
Inspired to dream
I gained so much at the retreat. With my new found confidence, I stood in the driveway of the retreat and went live with this very blog. During my drive home, my head was swimming with ideas.
I got lost again.
Upon my return home, I got lost in the madness of my full time job. We were in the middle of preparing for a big assessment that happens every three years. The next 6 weeks were full of ups and downs. Mostly downs.
I became discouraged and frustrated. I didn’t have time to dedicate to my blog or much of anything else. One problem after another seemed to pop up. Dreams became the least of my worries. Self-doubt crept up and took over.
A Spark and a Struggle
Our assessments were finally completed and I realized I have a lot to offer. I know my job and I’m good at it. For quite a while I’ve had lots of ideas floating around in my head, but nothing would really stick. I knew there was something more I could do, more I could offer.
There were no bells, whistles or fireworks. No shouts of “Eureka!” It just finally came together. It snuck up on me, but I have my big, scary dream. This dream is actually terrifying. But it isn’t the size of the dream. It’s the reality. It’s the fact that I know I can do it that scares me.
This dream needed a spark. Mandy was that spark for me. She made me aware of things that were holding me back. She made me aware that I could still dream, even if it wasn’t right now.
This dream also needed my struggle. All the difficulties I dealt with actually showed me I didn’t need to doubt myself. It empowered me to believe in myself and my skills. Without a spark and a struggle, that dream might still be floating around in the back of my head, not quite making a connection.
While I am not ready to tell the world about my big scary dream, I can tell you that first thing this morning, I started the process of working on it. I took one big step toward a dream that I never knew was there. It was a dream that just needed me to go through a few things to show me that I can dream scary big.
When you are struggling, when times are hard or life just keeps you too busy, don’t forget to dream. Even if it’s small or seems to be unattainable. Write them down. Read them out loud. Allow them to build. You just might surprise yourself.
Share you dream with me! Comment below big, small or the scary dreams! I want to know and cheer you on!